Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Because Dan's right, there are no headbands in college.

Well, like most shows that take their high schoolers to college, Gossip Girl is really testing out those growing pains. Last night's episode was entertaining to watch, but when I sit down and think about it, it's officially a marked drop off from the previous seasons and, truth be told, I'm a little worried. Alright, let's get into it.

-Carter Baizen. No thanks. Go away. Remember Aaron Rose? Yeah. Carter's not that bad, but in the Serena Van Der Woodsen relationship spectrum he falls somewhere in between the horror of Aaron Rose and the sometimes likability of Dan Humphrey.

-I think maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't care about Serena at all. I care about Serena less than I cared about Marissa Cooper and let me tell you I did not care about Marissa Cooper.

-There's no way this current Serena storyline can be satisfying for me as a viewer. I don't care when she's good and I totally don't buy it when she's bad. She's only interesting when she's with Dan, but when she's with Dan then Dan isn't interesting. It's a sticky situation.

-I'm really on the Dan bandwagon, by the way. He's still pretentious and stupid but in a really pleasant way.

-Gossip Girl - how dare you beat me over the head with Nate and Whatsherface and have absolutely no Eric or Lil' J in the whole episode. Fuck you, Gossip Girl. Fuck you.

-"And no Riverdale doesn't count." Attagirl, Blair. Attagirl.

-I am not into nice Chuck. "For your information I told Rufus about you not going to Brown because I was concerned." YUCK. Please, don't let this be the case. Please let this be a long ruse where you lure Serena in and then at the end of the season you poison her to death with poison.

-What was the deal with Scott freaking out about the professor thing? Mara and I were perplexed. Does he have tourettes? By the way, that guys name is Scott and like a lot of this show so far this season he is not interesting.

-Who are all these non-descript businessmen who want to invest in a Chuck Bass venture? I usually don't hold the show accountable for it's reality flaws but come on.

-And while we're on the subject. - a party on the roof of an NYU dorm? Again, come on!

-On the reality side of things though, Blair's right, clubs on the weekend are totally bridge and tunnel.

_Ok let's talk about my beloved Georgina. Am I wrong or is Georgina the single most compelling character on the show? Chuck and Blair are foundering big time and everyone else makes me want to throw up (except Lil' J. I love Lil' J) Let's cut right to the chase everyone, yes Georgina is evil and yes Georgina is plotting to bring Blair down and yes that's why she's awesome. The insincerity was oozing out of her when she complimented Vanessa on her stupid documentary (she was almost as insincere as V herself when she said "Aw shucks! Come on guys!" Or something like that.) Please don't let Georgina go away. Don't let her go on that stupid nurse show. Stay, G stay. Please!

-"The only queens here are the ones with tickets to see Liza at Carnegie Hall." I didn't like this. I thought it was cheap and not funny and worst of all not Chuck Bass.

-Still love Dorota, that's for sure.

-Never gonna stop hating Rufus. Remember when Dan was like "ask Rufus he's a good dad" and I was like "Uhm no he's not. He's the opposite of being a good dad. He's a bad dad." And as Mara pointed out - he's looking a bit puffy. I bet that actor that plays Rufus is as douchy as Rufus. Just an inkling.

OK. I didn't like this episode. There were some funny moments, but ultimately it's fell very, very flat for me. Think about it there are two central storylines going on (out of about 4 altogether) that have no juice at all. They're completely uninteresting and they take up 50% of the show and the other 50% is lagging as well. Chuck and Blair are blergh right now and this whole Scott thing is gonna turn into a mess. I can't believe I'm saying this but right now I'm incredibly pessimistic about the season as a whole.

Georgina Sparks saves it from being an outright F and brings it up to a D.

Pick up the pace guys. Maybe some Cyrus next week and definitely some Jenny Humphrey PLEASE!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Because...well, because it's the MOTHAFUCKING season premiere MOTHAFUCKAHS

Fall is here and I, for one, could not be happier. The air will get crisp, I will talk about wanting to go apple picking and then never go apple picking and of course that means the return of Gossip Girl - the single greatest television show in the history of time and space.

-Welcome back everyone, I missed you all so much. Oh wait, no I didn't. I totally forgot. I didn't miss Rufus because I hate him. He's the worst. And I didn't miss Dan. Well that's not entirely true I kind of, sort of missed Dan. He's growing on me. But I, for sure didn't miss Serena. I missed the way her boobs looked in flowy dresses but I can see them in those fake tabloid pictures I'm sure. I wish she would have stayed in whatever foreign country(ies) she was in (I tend to not pay close attention to Serena storylines).

-This premiere episode felt like a lot of set-up for me. It wasn't bad (it can never be bad) it just wasn't particularly memorable.

-Vanessa's hair gained weight.

-You see this is why Rufus is so stupid - if a teenager approaches you anywhere and tells you that he/she is just a really big fan of your stupid band, know this - HE'S LYING! Just a good rule of thumb, ok? Great.

-CONCERN ALERT: Blair and Chuck are less fun when they're together. I know we think we want it, but we don't.


-Alright Vanessa. Enough. If someone gave you a limo to drive around in all day, like you wouldn't? You could take it Ricky's and buy earrings. (Do they even sell earrings at Ricky's?)

-Jenny and Eric are the new Will and Grace. No they're not.

-If you were Jenny Humphrey's father (In this case, Rufus) would you let her walk around looking like that? I know you'd like to think you'd be progressive and all "I just want my daughter to be able to express herself" but you wouldn't. It's not even that she looks slutty it's that she looks she's just been busy finishing up all this heroin. Add to the fact that I'm now starting to think she's the hottest one on the show and you've got yourself a problem on your hands, fella (in this case Rufus).

-This long, lost son storyline is just going to serve to mean more Rufus, so I'm against it.

-I have to talk about Carter Baizen right? Ok. Done.

-Blair's most memorable line of the night came early when she told that girl she had "American Girl hair" which is a problem because, truth is, it's not that great of a line. It's good, yes, but it's not up to Waldorf standards.

-Chuck's military jacket thing? Yes.

-Nate Archibald? No.

-Seriously, Nate is really dumb.

-Glad to see Joanna Garcia, late of Privileged, in the mix here. She might make me not want to fast forward through the Nate bits.

-They don't check ID's at polo matches.

-Vanessa's new bf/Dan and Serena's half brother wears khakis. Khakis are stupid. No one should wear them. Unless that person is someone's dad. But even then...

- I like Nate's nefarious grandfather.

-Chuck made a Jules et Jim reference which baffles me on two levels. The first being - who do they think watches this show? I guess more people who would get a Jules et Jim reference than I would expect (and let me just say this, I'm not being all hoity toity like oh I totally get it, I only get it because I had to watch that movie in college and you know what? It sucks. It's boring. I'd much rather watch Point Break. RIP Bodhi. You're missed!) And second for the small minority who do get it, do you expect us to believe, based on the character you've created, that Nate would get it? But you do. You want us to believe that that dummy gets a Jules et Jim reference and he's not even in college! Come on. At least have Chuck make that reference to Vanessa. She's a pretentious snob.


Ok, here's the thing-the episode was fine. Nothing earth shattering, but fine. It looks like we're back to form next week with appearances from Doroda as well as one of my favorites - Georgina Sparks. Until then this episode is a B.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I'm Over Here Now

Hey. I haven't been updating much I know because I'm concentrating on a new blog for a while.

You can go here to read it.


No fear, though I'll be back around for Gossip Girl.