Thursday, January 29, 2009


I have pneumonia.

Yep, pneumonia. I know, I know only old-timey people and AIDS patients get pneumonia! Not true. I know. Because I have it.

I have never been this sick in my entire life.

It's miserable. I can't take deep breaths.

Oh and last week I had the flu.

This week, though...pneumonia.

So, I'll be back once all this pneumonia and stuff's gone.

Bye now.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

You want answers?

So, Mara had an interview posted on her blog that another blogger, 1littlefish, sent her, you know like an interview chain. so now it's my turn, here are the rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (And your e-mail address, please.)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are the questions and my answers...

1.)If your lady friend was having your baby and you were going to do that thing where you put headphones around the pregnant belly so the baby can hear music, what songs would you put on your baby’s mix? (keep in mind that this is a baby we’re talking about)

Well, most mix tapes can be somewhere around 16 or 17 songs deep. I don't think anyone wants me to list all of them, so I'm gonna pick five.

"Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight and the Pips - "Midnight Train to Georgia" is, perhaps, the greatest song ever written and it's mellow enough that it shouldn't disrupt the fetus. Plus, if you're gonna do this you should really try to use only important songs so that when the kid grows up they don't like shit. You know?

Angie by The Rolling Stones - It's a really great song. Really great. And if the baby is a girl, Angie is on the short list for names (though I assume Adrienne would nix it and tell me it's trashy) If I got my way, however that kid's name would not be Angela and we call her Angie, it would just be Angie and no calling her "Ang" either.

At My Most Beautiful by REM - I really like this song. A lot. It's a simple love song and I'm pretty sure it was written for a grown up, but when Stipe sings about watching the object of his affection sleep, I've always thought that must be what it's like to love a kid. Not in a creepy way. Your kid. The one you've made.

Stevie Nix by The Hold Steady - Listen, I know the common thought regarding this whole headphones on the belly thing is that it should be relaxing music and Enya and shit, but eff that. My kid is going to have to deal with a whole lot of rock 'n roll when it's out of the womb so it should be prepared for it. To compromise, I'll turn the volume down.

Age Of Consent by New Order - I once did a list of my 100 favorite songs ever (this was a few years ago). This list was made before I fell in love with New Order (I snobbily thought it was too synth-y and new wave-y and that I wouldn't like it). If I made that list today there is absolutely no way Age of Consent doesn't make Top 5 and would have a damn good chance at the number one spot. How can I not play that for my future kid.

I'm doing a sixth...

Bring It On Home To Me by Sam Cooke - No explanation necessary for this one.

2.) If you were given the option to write upside down for the rest of your life (including typing, the keyboard would be upside down) or read upside down for the rest of your life (also including computer) what would you pick?

Honestly, I don't really get this question. Are there merits to these things? I don't understand why I would want to read upside down. When would I be upside down, like in space or something? I guess I'll pick write upside down and am further guessing that my not understanding this question makes me just a little but stupid.

3.) If you could date one of the several characters on television that you are in love with who would you pick and why? The only guarantee is the first date. You have to take it from there. And they are not the actor but the character and age doesn’t matter. Perv.

This question is so good I can't believe it. As a real TV nut, you see, I don't really develop crushes on actresses, but rather their idealized form - the characters they play. So, this question is great, though really easy. I knew what the answer was immediately and am sure that anyone who knows me well probably knew too, even Adrienne - my real life girlfriend (she would probably say Seely Booth from Bones for herself, or George Michael Bluth). Without question and without any serious competition it's Rory Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls. The closest number two is probably Buffy Somers, but she honestly isn't that close. Rory is smart, funny independent and she comes from good stock (her parents are really, really attractive) plus she reads a lot and knows a lot about music - we'd probably have a lot to talk about. She can be whiny sometimes, but that's part of her charm - if she was too perfect it would just be irritating.

4.) Do you have any embarrassing stories you are comfortable sharing with us? Preferably from adolescence, and preferably something you’re not entirely comfortable sharing.

Embarrassing stories? Jeez, there's probably a million. I have the worst memory. The problem is, everyone already knows them - "Dear Dara", "Take off your pants, buddy", my teenage love of Kira, "I'm such a good skanker" - these are all things that I get made fun of on a pretty regular basis. I am, literally trying so hard to think of something that has never been discussed.

Alright, this really isn't that embarrassing, but I guess it could work. When I was in probably 5th or 6th grade I used to hang out with "the cool kids" you know even though they didn't really like me are were mostly just mean - I think I probably won in the end - and as a result I used to do mean thing because well, they were the "cool kids" and that's what "cool kids" always do. One day we were on someone's garage roof throwing crab apples at cars and people. Someone in our group threw one at a girl who then proceeded to chase us and she caught me. I started to cry and she let me go. When the people I was with found me I told them I was pretending to cry so she would let me go, but that was a lie. I was actually crying.

Also, I once met Joan Allen and I told her she should have been nominated for an Oscar for "The Upside of Anger." The embarrassing thing about that is I meant it.

5.) Please tell us everything illegal you’ve ever done. Including but not limited to: underage drinking, trespassing on the beach, statutory rape, date rape, rape rape, arson, vandalism, murder, extortion, manslaughter, money laundering, running red lights...

Alright let's see, I'm guilty of

-underage drinking
-trespassing on the beach
-statutory rape
-date rape
-running red lights

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Wherein I completely redeem myself for posting the terrible Gossip Girl rap video last week

NOTE: I never want to watch videos people post either, but I implore you to watch this - it's spectacular. Like "Stairway To Stardom" good.

I stole this from Videogum, but I had to. It's amazing. I don't even know what to say. Just watch.

Mark Gormley is my new favorite person in the world. In a strange way, his lack of charisma makes him completely charismatic. The way he shifts his weight from leg to leg is perhaps the funniest thing I have ever seen. Please, let this be real. Please!

Best parts (aside from the leg thing)

1.) Random guy parasailing
2.) That woman walking through what appears to be a food court in her bikini
3.) Mark Gormley looking off camera
4.) The song being described as "intense"
5.) "Don't play around with my affection, woman."

Because it's like shouting out your real life heritage with the use of a close-up on a Union Jack cufflink

I usually write some introduction, but if you read this weekly well then you know the drill. Here we go.

-So, during the "previously on Gossip Girl" montage, I'm reminded of Dan getting all bent out of shape about Nate being with Jenny. Dan throws Nate against the wall, shows him the Gossip Girl post and angrily asks "What are you doing? Or is this not you with my fifteen year old sister?" Emphasis on "fifteen year old". Here's my gripe - that's not crazy! Nate is supposed to be, what, seventeen? If you want to be angry that your friend is putting the moves on your sis, that's fine - but her being fifteen, in this world, shouldn't matter. "How could you corrupt my young fifteen year old sister." This is where the show gets self conscious - everybody knows that in real life Chace Crawford is 36 and Taylor Momsen is really, actually, like for realz 15 - so they make this an issue. When I was 17 my girlfriend was 14 and we were very happy thank you very much. She bought me an ant farm for my birthday.

I have to take a minute to talk about Uncle Jack Bass? Really dude - get a life. You're an adult and you're really threatening a teenage girl and plotting to take down your nephew. This story line is forced drama and I'm not into it.

"I wouldn't have come to this party if I knew I wasn't VIP." There's our Blair!

Line of the night, from Chuckles re: his father's disapproval - "Why did you wear so much purple?"

So, last week I loved when the popular girls referred to themselves as "the girls on the steps" and now S is just calling them "mean girls." From borderline brilliant to hack in one week.

A note to Jenny people can't have personal film festivals. Just say you're going to watch a bunch of movies with some sort of theme (in this case a bunch of Edith Head movies), but don't call it a film festival. Are you giving out awards? This does get points, however because I totally believe Jenny would know who Edith Head was.

Can we talk about the ridiculousness of Bart giving Bass industries to Chuck? I don't care how cunning, smart and devious you may be, you cannot run a business when you're 17. What is this a Sinbad movie?

Okay, so I've been watching Gossip Girl for a long time and I hate to quibble with realism because it's not relevant, but I will call out the writers when they are completely untrue to the characters they've created. Case in point - there is no way the Blair Waldorf whom we've grown accustomed to would fall for Jack's "let's throw Chuck a surprise party" thing. Especially after he threatens to blackmail her. She would have foiled this. Again I'm really not a fan of this story line.

Rufus is wearing something other than a turtleneck! Huzzah!

I was really offended by the negative tone Gossip Girl and the rest of the upper East Siders took with Dan's lunching on a tuna sandwich. Tuna is delicious regardless of your social status.

I agree, Dan - candy is candy.

"Swear on your 'Simple Machines' 7 inches". Ugh! I should love this. If it were Gilmore Girls and Rory was saying it to Lane, I'd totally buy it, but Dan Humphrey, c'mon. I wouldn't believe it if it were a "Matador" reference let alone "Simple Machines."

This episode marks the return of the Mini Blairenas! This is a good thing.

S and B look great in HD

"At least Romeo and Juliet don't share DNA". Neither do Serena and Dan. This is misinformed. They have a brother who shares their DNA, but they DO NOT personally share DNA. Someone else shares their DNA. I think.

I love the old 90's alternative band references. First the great Tanya Donelly and now Buffalo Tom. Very nice, even though neither of them contributed to those "Simple Machines" 7 inches. The only problem here is I'm realizing I may be closer in age to Rufus and Lily than I am Dan and Serena which is very scary.

Rufus' bracelet is stupid.

Eric is so milquetoast and his "voice of reason" speech to Serena was hollow and groan inducing. This character tried to kill himself and he has never, not once, had an ounce of edge. Shouldn't the suicidal kid be, at the very least, a wild card?

I know no one will believe this since there were no witnesses (Mara wasn't home to watch GG with me last night) but I absolutely knew that Rufus and Lily's adopted kid was still alive. I knew the dad was lying and I wrote it down. I swear.

Neither Leighton Meester nor Ed Westwick will ever be nominated for an Emmy which is why the Emmys are meaningless

Showgirls. Really, Jenny? That's a bit dated. What about Troll 2 or Zombie Strippers?

I made that same Clueless analogy a million times over the past week. Nice work GG writers.

This episode was very middle of the road. I'm not feeling the drama and no Dorota. I'm very disappointed. C-

A note on Vh1's Tool Academy

Was "Tool School" taken?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Some stray observations from last night's marathon TV session

I watched the People's Choice Awards just long enough to hear Queen Latifah say this..."And now to present our next award the illegally handsome star of Criminal Minds - Shemar Moore." They hire professional writers and that was the best intro they could come up with! Moore then walked to the microphone and shouted "How many people like reality TV!" I changed the channel and did not return.

So, I watched The Real World...The ex-army guy is writing a book, which will no doubt be published by MTV books. It has to be. Also, I know everyone is talking about the Mormon kid's sexuality, but I think it's the army guy that's a latent homosexual seeing as he's more obsessed with who is gay than anyone in the house. We will very rarely hear from the bodybuilder guy. He's my sure-fire "will get lost in the shuffle" cast member. Katelynn is going to be a pantheon RW cast member and not just because she's transgender. She's actually kind of interesting and self aware. My favorite thing about her, though is her name. She was once a dude and when she became a girl she had to choose what her name would be. She chose Katelynn and chose to spell it that way. That's not how you spell it.

Alright, Top Chef. Toby Young is a hack. It was so clear that he wrote all of his comments beforehand and then shoe horned them in where he felt they would work. That "Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder" line was so disgustingly forced. Not so forced was Fabio's great "It's Top Chef, not Top Scallops" line which could end up on a t-shirt at the end of the season. Carla survived and I'm glad - it was time for Melissa and Eugene to go. Now all the dead weight is gone and the season should really take off.

It's not fun watching the Rangers, it's only frustrating.

I'd talk about how great Damages was, but no one watched it so I'll spare you. It was great, though.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Dear everyone,

Yesterday I posted that Gossip Girl R&B song video and said it was "great". After watching it a few more times I can honestly say it's not great. In fact, it's really lame.

I'm embarrassed that I posted it and thought about simply deleting it whilst pretending it never happened. But that would be dishonest. We're not always right, you know and I'm here to admit that when it comes to that video, I was dead wrong. It really sucks. I apologize and I vow to do better next time.

Thank you for your understanding,

Pat D

I really need to start being more productive

There is so much fucking television on tonight at 10pm that it's maddening.

Let me rephrase that because of course there's so much fucking television on at 10pm there are a million channels - what I meant was there is so much fucking television that I want to watch on at 10pm tonight that it's maddening.

First there's the premiere of Damages season 2 which no one watches except for me and Jess Cantrell, but that everyone should be watching cuz guess what - it's awesome.

Then there are my Top Chefs who I haven't seen in what feels like forever, but has actually only been two weeks (it may actually be three by now I'm not sure). Nevertheless I'm eager to get reacquainted with them and see Carla's wonderful crazy face.

Then there's the Barbara Walters interview with Patrick Swayze which I kind of don't want to watch because I only want to remember Patrick Swayze as being Bodhi and he doesn't look like Bodhi anymore which makes me feel bad. I happen to really like Patrick Swayze. I like his movies. I like his first name and he seems like a genuinely good person. I really hope he can pull through and kick cancer's ass like he did all those rednecks in Road House or Anthony Kiedis in Point Break, but from what I've heard he doesn't have a lot of time and frankly that makes me very sad.

And finally, there's The Real World: Brooklyn. Now, I have not watched a Real World with any semblance of regularity since Las Vegas which, you'll recall, is the year in which the show lost any stitch of redeeming social value whatsoever and basically became a booze and fuck fest.

I'm not sure what's drawing me to this edition, the shows 21st. Maybe it's the fact that the show is now of legal drinking age (well not really. It hasn't been on for 21 years, it's just had 21 editions but that's no matter) and I can remember where I was when the franchise started and also remember having the biggest crush in the world on innocent farm girl Julie. I'm sure some of it has to do with the fact that it's taking place in Red Hook and I'll recognize some of the places they go to get shitcanned, which is always fun. I'm also looking forward to pretentious hipsters mocking RW cast members, even though most of them would kill to be on television and probably would have joined the cast in a hot second (why else does one live in Brooklyn these days and wear scarves - me included, except the living in Brooklyn part, but definitely the scarves part). Then there's MTV stating that this edition of The Real World is going back to the basics of the first few seasons and not just casting pretty boys and girls who refer to Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo as "my friends Jack and Jose" (seriously if you are still doing that, or know someone who is, please tell them to stop) and then fuck in a tub somewhere, preferably of the hot variety. No, they insist these people will be different and the show is going try and be relevant and thought provoking like it was back when cast mates would argue over the dirty guy sticking his finger in the peanut butter. You know, important topics.

Regardless, I'm gonna show up and maybe it will suck, but I'm certainly not prepared to find out it's awesome and that I've missed the train so...

Revolutionary Road is really amazing

I saw Revolutionary Road this weekend and the more I think about it, it's the best movie I have seen in all of the 2000's. The second best, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The common thread - Kate Winslet.

But this isn't about Kate Winslet, though she is the best working actor alive, it's about the emotional impact of Revolutionary Road. The movie has been described as a downer and it's true, but it also oversimplifies the movie to a great degree. Revolutionary Road is a movie about unhappiness, it's about lowering some of your expectations while not meeting others. It's about fear, It's about accepting adulthood or not accepting it - it's about coming to grips with being human and just being human - not being spectacular. That's heavy stuff for sure, but the film itself is eye opening.

As someone who hasn't really seen many "films" lately, it feels good to actually notice themes in something, I can tell you that.

Revolutionary Road was directed by Sam Mendes and a lot of people will draw comparisons between Mendes' first film, American Beauty and this one (seeing as how they both take place in suburbia and all). These people are stupid as they couldn't be more different. First, American Beauty sucks and Revolutionary Road doesn't. Second, American Beauty is so phony and 'wink-wink' cute and so loaded with stereotypes that it feels like a cartoon, while Revolutionary Road is so real and fraught and completely devoid of self consciousness. Finally, unlike American Beauty, Revolutionary Road is not preachy in the slightest. Revolutionary Road is not a message movie. It does not judge its characters the way American Beauty did.

Revolutionary Road is not simply a great movie, it's an important one. The script is flawless, which is what really sets it apart from American Beauty - the worst screenplay ever to win an Oscar. It eschews cliche at every turn and even if you know what's going to happen, you are surprised by how it happens. The performances across the board are the best of the year in every category. There's nothing out of place here.

Revolutionary Road is certainly a difficult movie, but it's worth it. Know going in the it's a tough road to hoe, but that shouldn't stop you from seeing what is, in my opinion, the first truly great movie of this decade.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

This is great

So, when I saw that this existed I fully expected to hate it. I wanted to hate it. Really wanted to hate it. This is my turf, assholes. I'm the straight guy who likes Gossip Girl. Beat it.

But then I watched it and it's pretty great. Extra points for the Lincoln Hawk reference at the end.

Kudos, fellas. You've done good.

RIP Ron Asheton

Ron Asheton was found dead this morning in his home. He was 60. Ron Asheton was the original guitar player for the Stooges, one of the greatest and most important bands of all time. They're up for the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame this year and they probably won't get in, which is ridiculous.

Anyway, I don't usually do this, but The Stooges were awesome and I love them so go and listen to them today and remember Ron.

Here is a reunited Stooges doing one of my favorites, 1969, with Ron Asheton absolutely killing it.

...And we're back. Finally

Rejoice world. It's back. It's been too long and oh how I've missed you...well not all of you. I haven't missed Aaron or Dan or Serena or Rufus or Lily or Nate...but Chuck, Blair, Jenny and Dorota...I've missed, a lot.

-The show begins and almost immediately we learn that OMG SERENA HAS DUMPED AARON! Thank god! What a wonderful moment. The rat is gone! Upon hearing this great news I paused the DVR and told Mara to "let the relief wash over you" and then exclaimed "I haven't been this happy since they killed Johnny off 'The OC'" and I meant it.

-I do wish I could have seen Serena tell Aaron it was over. That would have made the moment a touch better for me. To see the pain on his face would have brought me great happiness.

-Blair is trying to join some society of old ladies who, we'll find out later, wear a lot of argyle. I don't pay much attention to this story development as I know it will only serve as a crutch for Blair to have a big moment in denying them down the line. Which she does. Meh.

- If I could be anybody, I think it would probably be Chuck Bass

-Really quick, remember way back in season one when Eric tried to commit suicide? Ok. Good. Now fast forward to last night when Chuck said to him "I'm going to check out the view from above." I don't think Chuck was actually suicidal despite walking on the ledge, but come on Eric if anyone should be able to read the signs it should be you.

-How old is Jack Bass supposed to be? I don't find it terrible that he would desire to sleep with Blair, who is extremely attractive 17 or not, I'm just wondering. It seems as though he is actually a comparable age, but I'm not sure. Did they tell us?

- I think I'm starting to warm up to Dan a bit. This could just be that he is scores better than our not-so dearly departed Aaron, but I'm finding him likable.

-Spin off Darota. I'll write it. With all the news about the possible travesty that will be Rufus and Lily the early years, why not scratch that and find something for Darota.

-I love Blair's clear eyed hatred of Dan. I also loved the summit on whether or not Nelly Yuki could leave the "girls on the steps." That's the GG I've come to adore.

-Lil' J had a great comeback to Constance Billiard, but I would have totally taken the offer to be "queen" had I been her. She could have sabotaged it from the inside. Teenagers.

-Pinkberry. Obvi.

-Hazel is adorable.

-I know I should talk about Lily and Rufus' kid. There I did.

-More Rufus turtlenecks. That man loves turtlenecks almost as much as he loves Semisonic, or so I'd imagine.

-So Serena and Dan share a sibling. I don't get why this is such a big deal. I could get over it. I also love how that's where Chuck would draw the line. This is a guy who tried to date rape Lil' J on a roof in the pilot.

-Apparently Dan Humphrey has never seen what a tan actually looks like because let me tell you, pal Serena didn't have one.

-I'm really confused by the Constance Billiard uniform. Who has to wear it and who doesn't and why have we not discussed this before. Also, the mean girls carry their handbags like Sophia Petrillo.

Alright, so I'm happy to have my friends back, but the episode was mediocre. It was still better than having no episode at all so I'll be generous here and give it a B-

Friday, January 2, 2009

My 25 favorite records of 2008

Well, this is finally over.

25.) Times New Viking - Rip It Off
24.) Ra Ra Riot - The Rhumb Line
23.) Department of Eagles - In Ear Park
22.) No Age - Nouns
21.) Sun Kil Moon - April
20.) Wolf Parade - At Mount Zoomer
19.) Marnie Stern - This is It and I Am It and You Are It and So Is That and He Is It and She Is It and It Is It and That is That
18.) Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
17.) REM - Accelerate
16.) The Dodos - Visiter
15.) M83 - Saturdays = Youth
14.) The Walkmen - You and Me
13.) Blitzen Traper - Furr
12.) The Gaslight Anthem - The '59 Sound
11.) Deerhunter - Microcastle
10.) Drive By Truckers - Brighter Than Creations Dark
9.) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!
8.) Titus Andronicus - The Airing of Grievances
7.) TV on The Radio - Dear Science
6.) Okkervil River - The Stand Ins
5.) Portishead - Third
4.) Los Campesinos! - Hold on Now Youngster
3.) Brian Eno and David Byrne - Everything That Happens Will Happen Today
2.) Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
1.) The Hold Steady - Stay Positive