Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Because it's like shouting out your real life heritage with the use of a close-up on a Union Jack cufflink

I usually write some introduction, but if you read this weekly well then you know the drill. Here we go.

-So, during the "previously on Gossip Girl" montage, I'm reminded of Dan getting all bent out of shape about Nate being with Jenny. Dan throws Nate against the wall, shows him the Gossip Girl post and angrily asks "What are you doing? Or is this not you with my fifteen year old sister?" Emphasis on "fifteen year old". Here's my gripe - that's not crazy! Nate is supposed to be, what, seventeen? If you want to be angry that your friend is putting the moves on your sis, that's fine - but her being fifteen, in this world, shouldn't matter. "How could you corrupt my young fifteen year old sister." This is where the show gets self conscious - everybody knows that in real life Chace Crawford is 36 and Taylor Momsen is really, actually, like for realz 15 - so they make this an issue. When I was 17 my girlfriend was 14 and we were very happy thank you very much. She bought me an ant farm for my birthday.

I have to take a minute to talk about Uncle Jack Bass? Really dude - get a life. You're an adult and you're really threatening a teenage girl and plotting to take down your nephew. This story line is forced drama and I'm not into it.

"I wouldn't have come to this party if I knew I wasn't VIP." There's our Blair!

Line of the night, from Chuckles re: his father's disapproval - "Why did you wear so much purple?"

So, last week I loved when the popular girls referred to themselves as "the girls on the steps" and now S is just calling them "mean girls." From borderline brilliant to hack in one week.

A note to Jenny people can't have personal film festivals. Just say you're going to watch a bunch of movies with some sort of theme (in this case a bunch of Edith Head movies), but don't call it a film festival. Are you giving out awards? This does get points, however because I totally believe Jenny would know who Edith Head was.

Can we talk about the ridiculousness of Bart giving Bass industries to Chuck? I don't care how cunning, smart and devious you may be, you cannot run a business when you're 17. What is this a Sinbad movie?

Okay, so I've been watching Gossip Girl for a long time and I hate to quibble with realism because it's not relevant, but I will call out the writers when they are completely untrue to the characters they've created. Case in point - there is no way the Blair Waldorf whom we've grown accustomed to would fall for Jack's "let's throw Chuck a surprise party" thing. Especially after he threatens to blackmail her. She would have foiled this. Again I'm really not a fan of this story line.

Rufus is wearing something other than a turtleneck! Huzzah!

I was really offended by the negative tone Gossip Girl and the rest of the upper East Siders took with Dan's lunching on a tuna sandwich. Tuna is delicious regardless of your social status.

I agree, Dan - candy is candy.

"Swear on your 'Simple Machines' 7 inches". Ugh! I should love this. If it were Gilmore Girls and Rory was saying it to Lane, I'd totally buy it, but Dan Humphrey, c'mon. I wouldn't believe it if it were a "Matador" reference let alone "Simple Machines."

This episode marks the return of the Mini Blairenas! This is a good thing.

S and B look great in HD

"At least Romeo and Juliet don't share DNA". Neither do Serena and Dan. This is misinformed. They have a brother who shares their DNA, but they DO NOT personally share DNA. Someone else shares their DNA. I think.

I love the old 90's alternative band references. First the great Tanya Donelly and now Buffalo Tom. Very nice, even though neither of them contributed to those "Simple Machines" 7 inches. The only problem here is I'm realizing I may be closer in age to Rufus and Lily than I am Dan and Serena which is very scary.

Rufus' bracelet is stupid.

Eric is so milquetoast and his "voice of reason" speech to Serena was hollow and groan inducing. This character tried to kill himself and he has never, not once, had an ounce of edge. Shouldn't the suicidal kid be, at the very least, a wild card?

I know no one will believe this since there were no witnesses (Mara wasn't home to watch GG with me last night) but I absolutely knew that Rufus and Lily's adopted kid was still alive. I knew the dad was lying and I wrote it down. I swear.

Neither Leighton Meester nor Ed Westwick will ever be nominated for an Emmy which is why the Emmys are meaningless

Showgirls. Really, Jenny? That's a bit dated. What about Troll 2 or Zombie Strippers?

I made that same Clueless analogy a million times over the past week. Nice work GG writers.

This episode was very middle of the road. I'm not feeling the drama and no Dorota. I'm very disappointed. C-

3 comments:

Blanket said...

i completely missed the line about wearing purple. this is why we can't watch without one another. the only thing i remember is that lily and rufus' son's adoptive father was youngish looking but had VERY deep laugh lines which leads me to believe that he was a good father. or, is a good father, as it were.

Really, You've Done Enough said...

I enjoy your use of the word milquetoast.

Lazy Lorsie said...

I can't with either of these stupid storylines. Sharing a half-sibling does not make you related!!!! That's like saying you and I couldn't marry due to your being my fake cousin.