So Spring approaches and Gossip Girl awakes from it's month long hibernation to give us an episode not quite up to par. But it's Gossip Girl and a Monday night with Gossip Girl is certainly better than a Monday night without Gossip Girl...
-Nate wins for the "should have gone with mercury poison" line, but how pissed was whoever wrote that when he/she (actually a she, Jessica Queller - like Headmistress Queller- did this writer name the headmistress after herself? I effin hope so. That is awesome. Fair play. NOTE: I just did some research and it turns out I'm a little bit in love with Jessica Queller.) realized the show was going on hiatus and would sadly come a month late. Either way, good job.
-In bad Nate news, turns out he is almost as bad an actor as Chace Crawford. Oh Snap!
-I'm sad that Rachel is gone. Listen, I know she was ridiculous, but Dan was having sex with his teacher for god's sake. Yes, he's eighteen and she was probably 22 so obvi not that big a deal, but she was his teacher! That's good drama.
-Alright, full disclosure I'm mostly mad about her ouster because I really thought it was my beloved Georgina sending the GG blasts. When the Serena GG blast was sent out, I yelled to Mara, who had already watched the episode, "OH, I KNOW WHO IT IS! I KNOW WHOSE DOING IT! IT'S GEORGINA!" and I was so proud. Proud like P. And I was wrong.
-Oh and by the by, I'm all for kicking it old school but Dan and Rachel would have never communicated via note and to take it a step further, Rachel would have especially never entrusted her response with her teenage student/lovers little sister.
-Mara took issue with Rachel leaving a key when, seemingly he could have just knocked or, more than likely, buzzed up. I defended it by saying she was probably going to be doing something untoward like lying on the bed in sexy underwear, you know? But it turned out she was just lighting a bunch of candles and cooking dinner, to which Mara exclaimed, "Why would you be cooking dinner for your teenage boyfriend?" Mara, it turned out, was right. About the whole thing. Though I'm actually not sure she was cooking dinner at all now that I think about it. Hmmm.
-But, on the flip side it seems weird that Rufus would use the key and let himself in seeing as how it was at least conceivable that this woman could have been close to naked, no?
-This Chuck storyline was so boring. Sooooooooooooo boring! I hated that Elle. She was a terrible actress and only "meh" in the hot department. Blair is much hotter (she was really, really hot at the end of the episode - but more on Blair next) and it turns out the GG writers forced that super boring two episode Chuck story arc down our throats just to make Chuck realize that he loves Blair. Come on, now. Buck up.
-Blair. B. Ms. Waldorf. I love her. I love her so much. I especially love that she's coming to terms with the fact that she's evil! It's great stuff. Also, Lieghton Meester is just a really good actress who will never get her due while on this show. The moment when she confronted Rachel was awesome.
-No colleges have such strict "one early acceptance only" policy and while we're at this a month has passed, right? Isn't Nelly Yuki's early acceptance just an acceptance at this point.
-Touche GG writers for turning the Waldorf war announcements into a self reflexive joke.
-Oh remember when Nate used the word "dilettante"? Not happening. Though he did kind of, sort of mispronounce it so maybe.
-The best part of the Elle storyline was her coming out of the hotel and being all "they weren't trying to kill me after all, they just wanted to give me a bunch of money" and then us accepting the absurdity of it because we were just so fucking glad it was over.
-Vaneesa - meh.
-Jenny - meh
-This director - meh.
-Serena - meh.
-Serena's boobs - great, as always. I mean, just great. Best boobs in the biz right now.
All in all the episode was hurt a great deal by the Elle story. The play coming apart at the end was fun and Blair declaring all that war was good stuff too. And Derota, but then there was also Charles Isherwood - a real critic who went on Gossip Girl and pretty much called himself out as a pretentious dope, so I guess not all bad. Better luck next week, though.
Oh and it's good to be back with these.
C+ and I'm being generous.