Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I kind of hate American Idol Season 8, everybody.

(NOTE: This started off as a simple recap of last nights horrendous American Idol and then as I was writing I flipped out and got all soap boxy. I apologize in advance.)

It's country week! Country week is usually bad! Not because country music is bad, the complete opposite actually. It's great. But you know these people aren't going to sing it well, so...

We'll start, obvi with the good. Alison. Great. At first I wasn't sure if it was great, but I watched it again and I'm sold. It was great. She's the best female contestant on the show. Better, even than Alexis Grace (who I happen to like quite a bit, but not last night. Last night was bad). But, since Alison's not that pretty the judges don't want her to win, so they act like her performance was just ok. Except for Randy, he said it was "dope". Because if all four of them were "meh" everyone would figure out that they essentially fix the competition by giving bogus criticism. Kris Allen was ok, a bit boring, but ok. I hate that song, though. It's gross. Plus, regardless of whether or not Garth Brooks wrote it, it's not a country song. It's a pop song. But, I like Kris Allen so who cares right? Uhm, who else, who else. Oh Matt was good. His performance was good. I really want to root for Matt and initially thought he could be my horse in this thing but dude has zero personality. Z-E-R-O (that's me spelling out the word "zero". Get it?) I find it tough to root for him. I am though, I'm rooting for him.

Next up: Hey American Idol can we put a moratorium (I can't believe that word is spelled that way) on the Taylor Hicks bashing. Guess what, we all knew that Taylor Hicks sucked, but you did that. It's your fault. Don't go acting all "we knew he was bad all along" shit. It's mean.

Also, I'm hating the judges this year. Hating them. All of them. Especially Kara. She throws everything off. And for the most part she's stupid. Stop telling everyone they're artists alright. None of these people are "artists". They pick a fucking song out of a hat and sing it. That's it. Sam Cooke was an artist. John Lennon, Elvis Costello, Neko Case, Bob Dylan, Lucinda Williams, Tina Turner! These are artists.

And also stop using "it's karaoke" as criticism because - OBVIOUSLY! What did you think it was?

I love watching this show, you know, but this season I'm kind of hating it.

Speaking of hate. Oh my Jesus Adam Lambert. I don't even know what to say. I don't necessarily believe you need to be wholly reverent to the past but it's Johnny Cash, man. His performance was so gross. Just dripping, oozing with disgusting. Last night I called it one of the top five worst Idol performances, but now I am ready to call the worst thing I have ever seen on that show. And I've seen some bad stuff. Clay Aiken! Sanjaya! Group sings! Nothing compared to that performance. I don't even know what to say. The camera effing, the arrangement, those awful high notes. Every time Paula stands up and claps for him, it makes me want to fire her on the spot. Paula, who is crazy - admitted - judges these people based on which one she wants to sleep with the most. That's not ok. The worst piece of criticism came from Randy who compared it to Nine Inch Nails doing country which proves he either doesn't have ears or has never actually bothered to listen to a Nine Inch Nails song, but then went even further by calling that description current. CURRENT! Nine Inch Nails haven't been current in fifteen years! And I like Nine Inch Nails.

The rest - I am consistently flummoxed by the overwhelming support for Danny Gokey. First off, he chose "Jesus, Take the Wheel"! Really? The song is terrible, but his obvious reasons for picking it were even worse. He KNEW that he could be all show-offy at the end and then Paula would rise up all stumbly from her chair even though he didn't know the beginning and proceeded to warble his way through it. It was a bad performance. Not a "wasn't your best, dog" performance. It was simply bad. But, the judges want him in the finals, so there you go.

Alexis Grace was not good. Seeing as how "Ring of Fire" and "Jolene" were the only ACTUAL country songs performed last night (and to be fair that Michael Sarver song as well), I hoped for more out of Alexis. But she didn't deliver. She seems a bit cold at times and though I am a fan, I could see that playing against her. Like Matt, she needs more personality.

Lil Rounds on the other hand - personality to spare! Not the worst performance, but certainly not the best but she is just so likable so I'm on board with her.

Anoop is boring.

Megan Joy (Corkrey) is as adorable as all get out. I fully admit that I root for her to stay around because I enjoy looking at her. Cute as a button, I say.

Lastly, the talent this season is so middle of the road I can't stand it and when Ryan says "I think we have a competition on our hands" I agree, but it's a competition of mediocrity bordering on just bad unoriginal crap. After last night, I actually started to hate this show. I always try to like everything, but I'm starting to think there is nothing here for me apart from Alison who also gets on my nerves a little bit. I like Megan, of course but for all the wrong reasons. I don't really think anyone in this group deserves to win a show like this and become a big star. I really don't. We're at the point now where these people are just in it to be "reality tv" stars, not musicians. There is not a Kelly Clarkson or a Fantasia Barino in the bunch. Not one. These kids have all grown up with the show and are just going through the motions. Doing what they've seen before.

I'm also very disillusioned by these judges this year and their outward favortism of certain contestants is unforgivable. Listen. I know the show's purpose has always been to create a commercially viable star but it all just feels, I don't know, particularly gross this year.

Kind of depressing

Oh and Scott and Michael will be the bottom two and Scott will go home.

Sorry about where this went.


Blanket said...

whoa. My favorite part is when you threaten to fire Paula Abdul.
I haven't watched this show since season two but i for one am really enjoying it. However, I almost threw up in my mouth several times during Adam's performance. Anoop is horrible. Sorry you're blind whatever your name is but you're not a very good singer, beat it. Michael Sarver, sorry you have a blue collar job and large frame but you're not a very good singer, beat it. Kris Allen - call me.

Pat D Sez said...

I know. I was enjoying it too. But then I saw Kelly Clarkson this weekend on SNL and I thought there is not one contestant that I believe will be performing on SNL 8 years after they win this thing. They'll be lucky to be on that show THE year they win. I'm just disheartened.

Lazy Lorsie said...

Disheartened, huh? Possibly because it is the biggest pile of crap since the one I stepped in before Franny's birthday party last month.

I hate it. I want to keep watching it because I used to enjoy it so but I just cant believe the stench.

I did like when Simon called Lil Rounds "little"