Meh-XO, Meh-XO Gossip Girl

Alright, so Gossip Girl had it’s first hiccup last night, as in it wasn’t very good.

Let’s discuss the particulars, shall we?

1.) Blair was way less “Awesome Blair” and way more “Petulant Baby Blair. I did not like.
2.) Who is named Poppy? That’s ridiculous.
3.) Bad Serena or good Serena…turns out, I don’t really like either of them.
4.) I was really excited about the Dan/Chuck storyline. I thought Chuck would really put Dan in his self-righteous place. Instead we get a reason as to why Chuck Bass is Chuck Bass which I don’t need. I just want him to be Chuck Bass. Enough with this three dimensional character business. It’s Gossip Girl for Christ sake.
5.) On a pleasant note, whoever casts for Gossip Girl must be a big Twin Peaks fan, first Shelly plays the Duchess (I miss you Katherine) and then Jerry Thorne shows up as Dan’s “mentor.” Nice.
6.) Even though Blair had the weakest episode in the Blair Waldorf canon, she still had two great lines. “Don’t ever go to high school Deroda!” – brilliant. and when she described Rufus as Dan’s lame 90’s dad I thought to myself, that’s the best description of one character by another character in the show’s history.
7.) Michael Koors!
8.) Not feeling this Lil’ J/Blair alliance stuff. Too much has happened already for this to make sense.
9.) Good to see Bart, but he seemed much different from the Bart Bass I grew to love last season.
10.) What’s in the envelope, Lily?
11.) They should have someone murder Dan
12.) I missed Vanessa
13.) I didn’t miss Nate.

Funny Things My Roommate Has Said

This is a new edition to the ol’ blog. A lot of times my roommate says things I think are funny. Sometimes, she means for them to be funny and sometimes she doesn’t. Either way, I love them. Here’s the first one…

One afternoon she was looking through the movies on HBO on Demand. She had settled on “Notes on a Scandal” with Cate Blanchette and Dame Judi Dench, a movie I can only assume she knew nothing about. She started it and while I’m in the kitchen I heard her disgustedly say, “Oh no, is this movie gonna have accents?”

She was mad that the actors would have British accents. It made her not want to watch it.

That’s funny

I Review Jenny Lewis' New Record, "Acid Tongue", After Hearing It.

How do I say this? Uhm…I guess I just say it. I don’t love “Acid Tongue.”

Wow. That wasn’t easy. Now, this does not mean I’m finished with Jenny Lewis, not by a long shot, because while I don’t love “Acid Tongue” I like it fine and, further I can respect it. Let’s take Rilo Kiley out of the picture for right now and focus on Jenny the solo artist.

(though, I’ll say this – I like “Under the Blacklight” and I honestly can’t find a reason to dislike it. It’s not “More Adventurous” that’s for sure, but “The Moneymaker” is a jam.)

Jenny Lewis is coming off the triumphant “Rabbit Fur Coat” a, I’ll say it, perfect record. It’s the best record of its kind since “Car Wheels on a Gravel Road.” Now, what do you do to follow it? It’s a difficult task and it’s one in which Jenny has not failed completely at, but she didn’t hit it out of the park either.

“Acid Tongue” is uneven. “Rabbit Fur Coat” had a purpose, the songs felt like they belonged together. “Acid Tongue” feels like a Jenny Lewis mix-tape. The primary criticism being lobbed at the record is that it feels as though Jenny Lewis doesn’t know who she is as an artist yet. I don’t agree with that.

I think she knows exactly who she is. She isn’t an artist you can clearly define. If she wants to make a country record, followed by an awesomely weird rock record with her band about LA hookers followed by a kitchen-sink type record covering all of her influences, she’s gonna do it. I respect that. Does it mean that I’m likely to spend a lot of time listening to “The Next Messiah”? Probably not.

There are some really nice moments on “Acid Tongue”, for sure. The title track should be a hit. This is what Jenny does best. It sounds like it would have fit perfectly on “Rabbit Fur Coat.”

I love “See Fernando” and “Jack Killed Mom” and when her voice cracks a bit on “Pretty Bird” I get chills. You also have to love “Carpetbagger”, her duet with Elvis Costello, if for nothing else than Elvis sounds like 70’s Elvis. Punk Elvis. The good Elvis. Which leads me to hope he ditches people like Alan Toussaint as collaborators and records a full-on duets record with Jenny.

So, “Acid Tongue” is okay. It’s not “Rabbit Fur Coat”, but maybe we don’t need a sequel and even though I don’t love it, I’m excited to see what Jenny has in store for round three.

Silver

I know a lot of people are down on this new 90210, but for the most part these people are clinging to their memories of the old show.

Do you need a reason to get on board with the new 90210?

Here it is...

Silver.

She's great.

Shenea Grimes, who was previously great on Degrassi, is not good here.

In fact she's terrible.

I can admit that.

But Silver.

Oh, Silver.

She's great.

Really great.

Block everything else out. Silver's worth the price of admission.

Trust me.

Give this show a chance...

Gossip Girl was great

The latest episode of Gossip Girl was really great. It's been getting consistently better episode to episode this season. For example, did you see Chuck show up at the bar in that purple suit? If you didn't, it was great. Here are some other things that were great about Gossip Girl

1.) The return of Lily Van Der Woodsen/Bass - Finally. I knew she would hate being married to Bart, but either way I'm happy to have Lily back.
2.)Blair was straight up genius in this episode. Did you have any doubt she would have everything under control re:Dutchess/Lord etc? If you did, you haven't been paying enough attention to this show. No one fucks with Blair Waldorf.
3.) Lil' J's really headstrong this season.
4.) Let's talk about Amanda shall we? She was unattractive and pushy. Obvious why Dan would like her.
5.) Dan is the worst. What a self righteous dickhead, right? Am I crazy? I worry that this show is trying to make me take Dan's side and think Serena is a bitch. If this is the case they're doing a terrible job because...
6.) SERENA!!!!! I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's official Driscoll is on the Serena train! I have been very vocal about my distaste for Serena, but if she's becoming Blair plus one than bring it on. Lively showed a side to her I was not expecting and that's a good thing.
7.) I'm into Vanessa, but my roommate pointed out that she wears far too many accessories. I agree.

I Review Jenny Lewis' New Record, "Acid Tongue", Without Hearing It

Jenny Lewis' new record "Acid Tongue" is awesome. The songs are awesome. Her voice is awesome. I'm gonna totally be listening to this awesome record a lot. You should probably buy it. It's awesome.

Nothing Lasts Forever

Hello everyone.

I have some sad news. I broke up with Kenley last night.
For those of you who don’t know, Kenley and I started our brief affair about two months ago when I first saw her on the premier of Project Runway's latest season. She was spunky and adorable, she had great style and I really thought we had something.

But it was fleeting.

We hit our first rough patch when she mockingly laughed when her “best friend” Daniel claimed to have exquisite taste on the runway. “Why would you do that, Kenley” I said. “I mean I know it’s a ridiculous statement to make seeing as how Daniel is a terrible designer with really greasy hair, but he’s supposed to be your friend. Are you gonna turn on me at some point?” I said.

Turns out, the answer was yes. Sort of.

Then Kenley met Diane Von Furstenburg and turned into a blubbery mess, which should have been endearing, but it wasn’t it was really annoying and as a result, there were more cracks in the foundation of our budding relationship.

I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t Kenley at all, it was the editing. They need a Project Runway villain and suddenly, without warning it turned out to not be Suede.

(Sure, Suede’s annoying, but he’s also pretty pathetic. I mean he’s in his forties. He looks ridiculous. It was hard to hate him and easier to feel pity for the absurdity that is Suede.)

But, I don’t think that’s the case anymore, I think she may just be a villain.

You see, Kenley reminds me of a girl I went to high school with who, so it seemed, was full of confidence. As I got older I realized that confidence was just masking deeper seeded insecurities. That’s Kenley. She reminds me of a high school student.

I don’t need a high school kid, Kenley. You need to grow up.

So last night during the challenge when Kenley dismissed Tim’s suggestions in such a snobby fashion, I ended it. Tim’s the best, Kenely and he was just trying to help.

So it’s with a heavy heart that I make this announcement. I’m pretty surprised we didn’t last the whole season, or at least until her inevitable banishment from the runway (let’s face it, she ain’t beating Korto or Leanne), but we didn’t.

I’d like to say we had a good run, but that’s not really the case. We had a good two or three episodes and we probably would have broken up sooner had the glorious Stella not been there to distract me from all of Kenley’s flaws.

So that’s it. I’ll be fine. It may just take a few days.

I love Sarah Palin

From a purely comedic standpoint, she's the best thing to happen to politics since Admiral Stockdale.





I mean, come on.

Sunset Rubdown? More like Sunset Rub-don't

Okay. So, I saw Sunset Rubdown at Music Hall of Williamsburg last night and I hated it. I hated it for a number of reasons which I will get into in a moment.

I would like to start, however by saying I really like Sunset Rubdown. I like Sunset Rubdown more than Wolf Parade. I tend to fall on the Spencer Krug side of things almost always when the Krug/Broekner debates go down (mostly in my head. I don’t actually think I’ve debated this with another living person ever). I like Sunset Rubdown’s second record “Random Spirit Lover” so much that when I think of which records I would write a 33 1/3 book for, it comes up top five. (NOTE: I will write a 33 1/3 book one day, mark my words America). I enjoy that record so much that I would have really loved to have heard some songs from it last night at their show, the one that was on the tour supporting “Random Spirit Lover”…presumably. But, I didn’t.

Why?

Because Spencer Krug is a dick.

Now, I can’t say this for certain. I’ve never met Spencer Krug personally, so he has never been afforded the opportunity to actually be a dick to me, but he was certainly a dick to the audience that paid $15 to see him last night.

Here’s the thing, I actually feel guilty complaining about the fact that Sunset Rubdown played virtually all new songs last night. I know, I’m “supposed” to like when bands do that, or at least pretend to like it because I appreciate music, man. But, I don’t. I hate it. Everybody hates it. They may pretend they don’t hate it, but they do. They hate it. You hate it.

Here’s a test: Let’s say you were at the Sunset Rubdown show and you really had to pee. When would you pee? during some song you’ve never heard or during “Up On Your Leopard” (which they didn’t play)?

Exactly.

Now, it’s not only that they played so much new stuff it’s the way they did it. Krug establishes early on that this is his m.o. for the evening after the third song. He opens the next song by saying something along the lines of “this is a new song, you’re gonna be hearing a lot of that tonight.” And not in a nice way. What he was saying was “Listen, I don’t give a shit what you want to hear I’m a fucking artist and I defy expectations. I do what I want to do, so suck it fans of my band.” At least that’s what I heard.

I felt open contempt from him towards his audience and I’m pretty sure he didn’t smile once. Have fun, dude.

It was so pretentious. He kept saying “we’re professional musicians” which may not seem pretentious when you read it, but it was. Just trust me. Okay? They also had, like these little pretentious lamps on some of their equipment and at one point he asked the people at the venue if they could turn the lights down.

The nerve. Fuck him. “Could you turn the lights down, they’re bothering me. Oh, the fans? The fans who paid fifteen dollars to see my band during this terrible recession and will no doubt plunk another $20 down on drinks because let’s face it how do you go to a show and not drink? I don’t care if they can see me. I’m not even playing any songs they know anyway.”

Listen up Spencer Krug, you want to play a whole show of new songs. Fine. I don’t care. But fucking let me know, dude. I’ll just skip it.

Oh and also, you fucking made me miss 90210 jerk-off.

Here are the things that were great about last night's Gossip Girl

1.) The super creepy, but ultimately awesome, sexual tension between Rufus and Vanessa. This has to happen, right? I mean you can't just keep teasing it and then have it not happen. I'll be pissed.
2.)The mini-Blairenas in the park.



3.)Super hot Chuck and Blair stuff. Natch.
4.)Duchess Katherine. I love her. Gimmie more Duchess. Though some things about her are clearly ridiculous (she wouldn't be shopping for clothes for Nate out in the open where anyone could see)
5.) The season's first appearance of Nelly Yuki.
6.) "Oh don't be so dramatic. Maybe your father and his date can run out and get us some coffee and sandwiches."
7.) The merciful end of Dan and Serena. Please let this be it. For real.

The Greatest Commercial Of All Time

These kids are really great. This commercial was on a lot when I was a kid. I haven't thought about it in a long time, but the tag line "The best part of the pizza without the pizza" is brilliant. Just great, great stuff.