Meh-XO, Meh-XO Gossip Girl

Alright, so Gossip Girl had it’s first hiccup last night, as in it wasn’t very good.

Let’s discuss the particulars, shall we?

1.) Blair was way less “Awesome Blair” and way more “Petulant Baby Blair. I did not like.
2.) Who is named Poppy? That’s ridiculous.
3.) Bad Serena or good Serena…turns out, I don’t really like either of them.
4.) I was really excited about the Dan/Chuck storyline. I thought Chuck would really put Dan in his self-righteous place. Instead we get a reason as to why Chuck Bass is Chuck Bass which I don’t need. I just want him to be Chuck Bass. Enough with this three dimensional character business. It’s Gossip Girl for Christ sake.
5.) On a pleasant note, whoever casts for Gossip Girl must be a big Twin Peaks fan, first Shelly plays the Duchess (I miss you Katherine) and then Jerry Thorne shows up as Dan’s “mentor.” Nice.
6.) Even though Blair had the weakest episode in the Blair Waldorf canon, she still had two great lines. “Don’t ever go to high school Deroda!” – brilliant. and when she described Rufus as Dan’s lame 90’s dad I thought to myself, that’s the best description of one character by another character in the show’s history.
7.) Michael Koors!
8.) Not feeling this Lil’ J/Blair alliance stuff. Too much has happened already for this to make sense.
9.) Good to see Bart, but he seemed much different from the Bart Bass I grew to love last season.
10.) What’s in the envelope, Lily?
11.) They should have someone murder Dan
12.) I missed Vanessa
13.) I didn’t miss Nate.