Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Because Gossip Girl is NOT a twink with Zac Effron hair and also because...I love you too.

NOTE: Because I did a running diary, I needed someone to recap the glorious finale of our favorite show, so I turned to our good friend Anonymous, or Franny. And so it goes...

Ya see that?! ya like how I copied his style with the title? Well, enough of that let's get down to it...

First of all Lorianne - I do have a spelling problem, I was born premature OK!. I have learning disabilities! Would you poke fun at Donna Martin? Of course you would, but I digress.

Serena, get that tassel right out of your hair. Silly twat! Are you kidding me! At my high school graduation we didn't even receive real diplomas till a week later so they could control us at graduation. We were told that if we threw our hats, like all normal graduates do (as Television and movies would have us believe) we wouldn't graduate. I see how redic that is now for us to ever have believed. Why would we wanna throw those hats up? Someone could lose an eye...at least that's what the nuns said.

Anyway, back to GG Why in god's name would "the new girl" come to Constance on the last day of the school year before her freshman year even started just to be a bitch to cool chicks from Brooklyn who look like Courtney Love during her Versace Stage (who's gay ...ME?) IT MAKES NO SENSE!

Also..Eric's boyfriend almost being gossip girl made me furious. I yelled out in protest...LAME!

Some lines I liked were...

1.) Blair: "sleeping with the dregs of DUMBO", followed by Vanessa: "I'm standing right here!"

2.) Anything out of Nelly Yuki's Mouth.

Also where the fuck is CeCe? She's my Queen and why wouldn't she come to her granddaughter's graduation? I LOVE CECE!

Finally it's time to discuss something I know we all hate...Lily and Rufus! proposing to Lily with that wrapper or whatever the fuck that thing was was not only schmaltzy (call the schmaltz police) but it was plagiarized from like 4,0000 sitcoms, Lifetime movies, ABC movies of the week...I could go on...and those pieces of shit, they plagiarized it from a fucking soap opera...this is the exact way Luke Spencer proposed to Laura on General Hospital in 1981. I know, I know I was only a year old then but I know my shit. I was raised on soap operas! Just ask my mother, Lily Reynolds Bass...oh wait it's just Lily Reynolds.

That's all........................

7 comments:

Blanket said...

Fran, this is great, can you start a blog please? WAIT A MINUTE! I just realized something, that girl who wants to be the new queen is the one that Blair had to babysit and then she wanted to lose her virginity!!!!!!!!!
Am i late on this one?
I also, just yesterday, figured out why they use the name john doe for unidentified bodies. duh mara, duh.

Pat D Sez said...

Mara,

I told you who that girl was while we were watching the show.

Little Fish said...

Sorry I've been remiss about commenting, but I must pipe in on the Serena-tassle in hair issue... it was the dumbest, most annoying thing ever!! I mean it was so annoying that it almost ruined the whole show for me. Also, this whole thing about Dan going to NYU is so dumb. NYU is expensive... really expensive, like Yale expensive. OK so lets suppose that Rufus is such a pompous ass that he won't take money from his billionaire fiance to pay for his only sons college education and let's suppose that Dan is now planning on living at home and commuting which will save Rufus money on room and board. OK fine, but NYU, while a very good school, is not an alternative to Yale- that would be Columbia! Really, Serena and Nate are going to Ivy League schools and Dan and Blair are going to NYU? Doubtful!

Mara- I totally didn't catch that girl being the one that Blair babysat for either.

And lastly, Franny is gay?!?! Wow, didn't see that one coming.

Blanket said...

2 things: Dan isn't even going to live at home. he's living in the dorms. how stupid?
Pat, i KNOW you told me who should was but i just realized it was the same girl that was trying to be the queen bee! she has bangs now and it was hard to tell!

Brooke said...

Franny- this is fab.

yeah, hello !! NYU aint no SUNY school.
Vanessa - you're going to back pack with a dude who dumped your outer borough ass ? Your are not the confident woman that you protray on those Dover commercials
Presumed Dead Rufus-Lily lovechild - how does the group feel about this storyline ?
Lastly, i thought rufus and V we're going to bone ?!

Brooke said...

why is it John Doe ?

Lazy Lorsie said...

I love you Fran, excellent use of spell check