Late last week, I said I was going to do a column called "True Blood quote(s) of the week”. I lied. I’m not doing that column. Why? Because it’s virtually impossible to condense True Blood’s utter wretchedness into a few quotes. It couldn’t possibly do it justice.
Why, then has True Blood become appointment viewing? I wish I had an answer. I’m drawn to it, like Sookie to Bill, like Jason to “V”, like Tara to perpetually pursed lips…
I relish its insincerity. I find its cold, black heart pretty hysterical and I really enjoy the fact that something as serious as a brother slapping the shit out of his sister can be unintentionally hilarious.
My favorite part of last night’s episode came pretty late. Vampire Bill has a dream that Sookie is being choked. He wakes up and runs to her house really fast and then up the stairs even faster. He gets to her, she is sleeping, and in a fit of fear begins saying her name a lot. “Sookie! Sookie! Sookie! Sookie! Sookie!”
It was really funny. Imagine an actor having to repeat the name “Sookie” eight times while running out of breath. I’m realizing now that if you didn’t see it, this description seems pretty bad. If you did see it, hopefully you’re laughing.
Also, would the cops really make - no – would they allow Sookie to clean up the gore and blood of her dead grandmother herself? Maybe, they would. I don’t know, but it struck me as odd.
Oh, and lastly why the fuck was there no bottom crust on that pecan pie? Am I the only one who noticed this?